


Resettling

by phnelt



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Everyone lives in Voyager tower because it's 2012 and nothing hurts, Found Family, Gen, Post-Canon, Post-Endgame (Voyager), Returning Home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-05-12 03:50:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19220983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phnelt/pseuds/phnelt
Summary: The crew of voyager breaks apart and comes back together after returning to Earth.





	Resettling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kira_katrine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kira_katrine/gifts).



> Thank you to Karios for the super kind and patient beta.
> 
> Written for Kira_Katrine for Not Prime Time.

“Captain,” Kathryn ignored the twinge she felt at being addressed by the title that no longer applied to her. After seven years and countless perils, it was not easy to let go of. It would take time, and she’d try to be patient with herself. “It seems that I am currently struggling to control my logic,” Tuvok said. Her heart picked up.

“Your head? Is it feeling ok?” They’d already taken Tuvok for treatment, and he’d completed the  _ fal-tor-pan _ but maybe the doctors had made a mistake when they gave him the all clear. “We can get the doctor to look into it.” Her hand was halfway to her heart before she remembered she wasn’t wearing her comm badge. She started to get up.

“No. The treatment was successful. Additionally, the disease takes many years to show symptoms,” he raised his eyebrows, clearly communicating  _ as you already knew.  _ Which she did. 

She put up her hands in surrender. “All right, if it’s not that, what else is troubling you?” 

Tuvok straightened to stand at parade rest and trained his gaze over her shoulder. Interesting.

“I find myself experiencing disquiet when I am away from you. My mind is....preoccupied, and my meditation is interrupted. Logically, I know that you are entirely safe here. However, I am not settled in my logic.” He looked her in the eye. “I was accustomed to a certain proximity to you on Voyager that I do not have on Earth. I have, therefore, taken the action that presented itself to me and came here.” 

She let out a breath, almost a chuckle. Hadn’t she just been talking about this to herself? Reintegrating herself back into her old life wasn’t getting any easier.

“Well, Tuvok, you’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like.” A thought occurred to her, “Where’s your wife?”

“She-who-is-my-wife understands my situation and agreed with my course of action. For similar reasons, we were also unwilling to be parted. She is waiting downstairs until I can inform her of your response.” 

Two Vulcan guests. Well, maybe that would help with some of the quiet. Though Tuvok could never have been described as an imposition and was unlikely to bring the party, as it were.

“You can feel free to message your wife to come up. I’ll go make up the spare room.”

\---

She had been right, Tuvok and T’Pel were the easiest house guests to have. She got into the habit of taking tea with them in the evening before she went to sleep and they did their meditation.  _ Is this how it starts?  _ She wondered,  _ is this how I become her?  _ Her future self had drunk tea.

But Kathryn still drank coffee like a fiend so it was still early days. She decided not to start worrying until they made her admiral.

She’d just finished her cup and was checking her PADD in bed when she saw a message from Harry. He’d been reactivated last week with a promotion. They’d had a small party.  _ I’m being assigned to the Bradbury. Transport missions in the Sol system only. I’ll be available on subspace. _

Starting him on some milk runs made sense. It was low risk and command could see how seven years in the Delta Quadrant had affected his readiness.

It wasn’t until after she’d sent her acknowledgement and started to drift off that she realised it didn’t seem strange that Harry had notified her at all.

\---

It wasn’t the last time a crew member reached out. She got messages from Ayala and Sandra, asking for advice, keeping her apprised of their whereabouts. With a starchart she could point to where every former member of Voyager’s crew was. Give her some pins and she could make a constellation of crew. One afternoon, as she was coming back from a spirited game of Velocity at the Starfleet Headquarters gym, she arrived just in time to see Samantha Wildman turning away from her apartment.

Kathryn jogged to catch up. “Samantha!”

She turned back, ponytail waving. “Captain!” Kathryn didn’t correct her. She supposed that, unless she got demoted or promoted, it was factually accurate.

“Where’s Naomi?” Kathryn looked around briefly as if Naomi would just appear. 

“She’s with Seven and Icheb.” Starfleet had quartered them close to Kathryn’s, which was convenient for commuting to headquarters. It didn’t explain why Samantha was at Kathryn’s apartment though.

They stood there awkwardly for a second. Then it occurred to Kathryn that the disc was on her phaser, so to speak. “Come in,” she said, hastily, and shepherded Samantha up the stairs.

“Please, have a seat,” she gestured at the couch and Samantha sat. “I’ll make coffee and -- if you’ll excuse me -- grab a quick sonic shower.” 

Samantha looked like she wanted to leap up, maybe to apologise for the intrusion, maybe for another reason, but Kathryn gave her one of her patented Captain Janeway looks and Samantha stayed put.

It didn’t take her long once the coffee was poured to get the full story. Things had not been going so well in the Wildman household since coming back to Earth. It was a lot of changes for Naomi, just like it was for the rest of the crew, but at least the rest of them could rely on an adult’s ability to talk themselves down, some perspective to soothe the ache. Kathryn supposed they could all identify with Naomi’s urge to scream and throw things.

“We’re trying to establish a routine.” Samantha smiled, wearily. “But Naomi’s having nightmares. I think she misses Neelix. And  Greskrendtregk being here doesn’t help. Naomi feels like we’re trying to replace Neelix and Greskrendtregk doesn’t get why she doesn’t want to know him. He keeps pushing. I don’t think he likes that his own daughter’s a stranger to him, but some days it feels like he’s a stranger too.” 

Samantha took a sip of her coffee, collecting herself. Kathryn just waited her out. “Anyway, Naomi keeps running away to Seven’s apartment to spend time with Icheb. It’s just one quick intra-planetary shuttle ride and Seven doesn’t get why that’s not ok.” Kathryn put a hand on Samantha's shoulder and made a mental note to try to talk to Seven about this during their next holodeck adventure. So,” she tried to rally, “I thought we’d take a little break.” 

“And by break, you mean…” Samantha just looked at her with wild eyes. “Right. Just visiting headquarters with Naomi, seeing the sights,” she brought her voice down, made it gentle. “It doesn’t have to mean anything else. It doesn’t have to be permanent.” Samantha looked at her gratefully, nothing else needed to be said there. Kathryn hoped it would work out for her. “Do you have a place to stay?”

Samantha just gestured around the room like it was all the answer she had. “Right,” Kathryn said again. Then she thought for a minute. Having a spare room for an office had already been a luxury that she’d gladly given to Tuvok. Samantha and Naomi would need more space than that. And Greskrendtregk too, if they could convince him to come and try in a more neutral space. “There’s an apartment below mine that just went vacant -- diplomatic specialist got called in for a long-term consultation unexpectedly. You can stay here tonight and tomorrow we’ll get you both settled in.”

That’s when Samantha burst into tears. Kathryn startled. She needed Chakotay for these moments once the problem solving was over. “I just,” Samantha managed to choke out, “I thought being stranded was the hard part. I didn’t think,” she dabbed her face with a napkin that Kathryn hastily handed to her. “Why does it have to be so hard?”

The question struck her. She was feeling it too. Adrift except for when her former crew came to her. But then they left -- except Tuvok -- as if just to remind her that they weren’t hers anymore. 

At least she could help with this part. She could give Samantha a safe space and someone to talk to.

“I don’t know,” she murmured. “I don’t know why.”

\---

“It sounds like you handled the situation quite satisfactorily, Kathryn,” Tuvok said.

“I am inclined to agree,” T’Pel added, sipping her tea. “Samantha clearly required more support than she was getting, and now she is in a place to receive it.”

Kathryn gripped her forearms briefly. “I appreciate your assessment.” She really did, “but I still feel uneasy.” Who was she to direct others' lives? Starfleet hadn’t even finished debriefing her.

Tuvok merely inclined his head.

\---

It all came to a head when she returned to her apartment after walking through a mission report from five years ago. For over four hours they asked her questions, like she hadn’t second guessed herself enough for an entire fleet of questions.

She keyed into her apartment, and was faced with a wall of noise. The main room was packed and it didn’t take her long to figure out why. Harry was there, still in his uniform, holding a glass of champagne.

“Captain!” Everyone called. 

“Harry’s back,” Tom finished unnecessarily.

“I was only gone a week,” he protested.

B’Elanna rolled her eyes. “And yet, you’re the one who insisted on coming here first.”

Everyone laughed.

B’Elanna came up to her to hand her a flute of champagne. She was smiling, but Kathryn couldn’t bring herself to return it. B’Elanna’s smile faded as she got closer. “What’s wrong?” she asked. 

Kathryn got the sense that if she told B’Elanna she needed something -- anything -- B’Elanna was already halfway in flight to getting it for her.

“You know I’m not your captain anymore, right?” It came out louder than she meant it to. The room stopped. B’Elanna just stared at her, speechless.

She regretted it immediately. “Sorry. I don’t know why I said that. I just,” she waved her hand, grabbed the champagne and walked straight through the main room. The crowd parted for her in dead silence, except for the whisper of fabric as they shifted out of her way.

As soon as the door swished behind her she pinched the bridge of her nose.

It was only a second before the door opened again and she braced herself to deal with some well-meaning former crewmate. But then she saw that it was only Tuvok and she relaxed again.

She took two steps away from the bed. “I wasn’t prepared for these problems.” She paused, and Tuvok continued to say nothing and let her gather her thoughts. “I was so focused for so long on getting everyone home, I didn’t think at all about the problems we’d have being back. It all seems obvious now.” She gathered herself, went back to the bed and sat down. “And the irony is, I feel responsible, even though I’m not sure why they’re coming to me about any of it now. I’m not their captain anymore.” She stopped, nothing left to say. 

There was silence for a moment and then Tuvok began to speak. “There were many times, in the Delta Quadrant, when we were unsure of our course of action, and the way ahead could seem murky, at best. During those times, we all came to rely on each other, and on you.”

“Because I was the captain.”

“Yes, but also because you adapted and came up with suggestions and solutions. You consistently went above and beyond your duties to guide your crew. And it doesn’t appear to me like any of your crew wants that to end now. And if you’ll allow the inference, it doesn’t sound as if you want to abandon any of your crew now either. Our returning to the Alpha Quadrant does not mean that we are no longer...friends.” 

Kathryn was honestly touched. “I didn’t know you felt that way.” 

Tuvok sighed, as he always did in the face of her blatant emotionalism. But he stayed, and listened, which was the important part. “I assumed it was self-evident.” 

She let that sink in. 

“So what do I do now?” This was the real question.

“I suggest that you go out there and reassure yourself that your crew is safe and healthy.”

“And tomorrow?” She felt herself collapse a little.

“Is tomorrow.” He did an eyebrow raise that was the Vulcan version of a shrug. 

She huffed a small laugh. “Right,” she said, “lead on.”

And they walked back out into the laughter of the main room.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are loved! Even posting a line you liked means a lot.


End file.
